rissa, i don't know how you found this.... and i don't know how i'll ever be able to thank you for it.
personal favorites:
(310): im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
(859): I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
(1-859): Thanks for throwing up on me.
(212): dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
(1-212): idk but i think it had a face
(203): I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
(804): So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
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