happy halloween!

we had a fantastic weekend with my parents, sisters and nieces! henry got to be social for the first time, i got to take a shower without him screaming through it for the first time, and his belly button cord thing FINALLY fell off!

kimber, henry

dad, mom
@ garden of the gods

sean, mom, keri, catherine, kimber, jill, dad
@ dutch kitchen

i'm counting the minutes!

woohoo! family invasion tomorrow! of course, i left all the cleaning up and laundry for today... and this is how i plan to get it done:


the little fella doesn't like to be left alone, so he gets to come with me... up and down the stairs :) i also have some etsy orders that HAVE to get out today. hellloooooo procrastination!

today i got to discover for myself just how much attention tiny babies attract in public. henry and i spent 3 lazy hours in the waiting area of the hospital on base today (nothing serious, just a bad bladder and a timing issue), and on several occasions we were the subject of prying eyes at awkward moments. in particular, the lady in the restroom who was so enthralled while i was changing his diaper that she hovered over me and talked to me the entire time AS IF SHE WERE HENRY. um.. weird.

also, learned in that same bathroom trip that i basically have to give up my right to pee in public if someone's in the handicapped stall. car seats don't fit in regular stalls without some serious maneuvering.

almost perfect.

snow on the peak. and a crapload of it.
soup on the stove.
a husband that's finally home.
an infant that's been asleep for over 3 hours.
a breast pump that doesn't feel like it's ripping my nipples off.
a package today full of some of the best things on earth.

xoxo

lone weekend.

so henry and i managed to survive 3 1/2 days all by ourselves while sean went to south dakota for a wedding. i still haven't figured out how to get ANYTHING done without him here, since henry has to be ON us if he's sleeping, and nursing if he's awake. it makes my mandatory bed rest easy to accomplish, but laundry... not so much. or eating. or feeding the dog. or going to the bathroom. i just have an entirely new respect for single moms. no idea how you do it without going insane.

week one: overview.

my new favorite picture ever:


things have been going.... okay? smoothly? as you might expect? i mean, there's a brand new baby here. one that had to wait 5 super unpleasant days for my milk to come in. one that now seems to be surgically attached to my boobs. i sleep in 2 hour allotments, and i have to time my showers ever so carefully. and even then it seems like as soon as my hand touches the shampoo bottle it sets off some kind of alarm only babies can hear, and it usually turns into feverishly hair washing and guilt ridden showers. because even if i COULD just jump right out and grab the little papoose, the only thing i'd accomplish is getting him wet too. i'm guessing he wouldn't like that so much.

anyway.

i'm also dealing with postpartum hypertension, which is awesome. basically i'm not supposed to get out of bed aside from changing diapers or mixing up a protein shake. we had to make a trip up to the hospital yesterday to try and get our hands on some (really effing important) paperwork that they neglected to give us a copy of (long story short: the 300 year old woman in the records dept had no idea what we were talking about, and ended up giving us a copy of our birth plan. OUR BIRTH PLAN. the one that WE gave to THEM. ugh.), and when we got home my blood pressure was 150/108. not so great. back to bed.

so that's my life. changing diapers. shooting milk out of my boobs. laying in bed watching Intervention. hating the army for keeping sean from being here all the time. anticipating the day i'm allowed to go to the store to pick up milk without having to find someone to drive me there. seriously, i have a whole new outlook on these people who WANT c-sections.... they are mentally handicapped.

luckily, i get lots of little moments like the one pictured. i get secret smiles from henry while he's sleeping, and they're so cute it breaks my heart.

the grand entrance

our first few days together...

just a thought.

so, this whole labor and delivery thing has been a little rough on me. yes, it turned out fine, and i have a super fantastic little boy that i get to stare at and make faces with and who makes me almost unbearably happy. however... to get there i had to (quite unwillingly) cave in and do a bunch of things that i was really uncomfortable with. they were not easy decisions to make. i'm incredibly lucky that i had such a strong support system to help me through it.

however.

having a baby is emotional enough, even when things go exactly as planned. the last thing anyone needs is to hear things that make them feel like they've failed. over the last few days, i've had to hold myself back while being told:

"you really just don't have any other options. it would be a waste of energy to keep going"
"home births never really work out anyway"
"that's a really lousy decision, but i can see you've made up your mind"
"i just don't have time to take you [to feed him]"
"all the nurses joke- the longer the birth plan, the more likely you are to have complications"
"you probably won't get your placenta back"

sadly, i could keep going. but i'm not going to, because i also had 2 particularly amazing nurses that made me feel like i could do anything. and thank goodness for them, otherwise i most likely would have been a complete wreck (as opposed to the partial wreck i am right now).

today i got to bring the monkey home. it's taking everything in me to not kiss him raw.