holidays!

christmas, logan's birthday, and all the snow we've gotten on new year's eve (not to mention my obsession with a particular iphone app):

12 weeks.

we're finally getting snow! yesterday it was snowing while the sun was out- it looked like someone was dumping glitter over the mountains. beautiful.

we're getting prepared to be sans sean for a few months. he's supposed to be deployed around january 11th, but they keep changing it, so we don't know for sure. i'm pretty freaked out at the thought of not having him here. i'll be going back to work, though, so hopefully i'll stay busy.

i've been working at the frame shop a few days this month to help get them through the christmas rush. of course being there just makes me want to frame everything in sight. i made a collage frame for santa photos the other day... i used some of the christmas cards we've gotten as place holders for future photos. i think it's pretty fantastic, plus it was completely free! they gave me the frame, glass, and backing from an old sample at the shop, and i used some scrap mat from the giveaway pile.

i did some clothes organization in henry's room today. he's grown out of most of his 3 month clothes, so i packed it all up for next time around. and between logan's hand-me-downs and our neighbor's 2 little boys, we have a full wardrobe for henry through 3T.

10 weeks

we found out a few days ago that sean will be heading back to iraq next month. pretty unpleasant news, but he should only be gone around 3 months. bleh.

so very very thankful...

8 weeks!

just a few pics from this week, and a video for your entertainment...

7 weeks old...

we're finally getting more of these:

the youngest beedle has officially outgrown his newborn clothes (including one tiny pair of shoes), and has become slightly less grumpy. we get several smiles a day now, and he's started cooing and making the most lovely noises. also, his head is gigantic.

Henry's first art opening.

artwork by Troy DeRose.
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every day his hair gets a bit more red. sean's freaking out at the thought of a red-headed boy, but i love it.

it'll probably all disappear and turn black or something. i'm good with that too.

happy halloween!

we had a fantastic weekend with my parents, sisters and nieces! henry got to be social for the first time, i got to take a shower without him screaming through it for the first time, and his belly button cord thing FINALLY fell off!

kimber, henry

dad, mom
@ garden of the gods

sean, mom, keri, catherine, kimber, jill, dad
@ dutch kitchen

i'm counting the minutes!

woohoo! family invasion tomorrow! of course, i left all the cleaning up and laundry for today... and this is how i plan to get it done:


the little fella doesn't like to be left alone, so he gets to come with me... up and down the stairs :) i also have some etsy orders that HAVE to get out today. hellloooooo procrastination!

today i got to discover for myself just how much attention tiny babies attract in public. henry and i spent 3 lazy hours in the waiting area of the hospital on base today (nothing serious, just a bad bladder and a timing issue), and on several occasions we were the subject of prying eyes at awkward moments. in particular, the lady in the restroom who was so enthralled while i was changing his diaper that she hovered over me and talked to me the entire time AS IF SHE WERE HENRY. um.. weird.

also, learned in that same bathroom trip that i basically have to give up my right to pee in public if someone's in the handicapped stall. car seats don't fit in regular stalls without some serious maneuvering.

almost perfect.

snow on the peak. and a crapload of it.
soup on the stove.
a husband that's finally home.
an infant that's been asleep for over 3 hours.
a breast pump that doesn't feel like it's ripping my nipples off.
a package today full of some of the best things on earth.

xoxo

lone weekend.

so henry and i managed to survive 3 1/2 days all by ourselves while sean went to south dakota for a wedding. i still haven't figured out how to get ANYTHING done without him here, since henry has to be ON us if he's sleeping, and nursing if he's awake. it makes my mandatory bed rest easy to accomplish, but laundry... not so much. or eating. or feeding the dog. or going to the bathroom. i just have an entirely new respect for single moms. no idea how you do it without going insane.

week one: overview.

my new favorite picture ever:


things have been going.... okay? smoothly? as you might expect? i mean, there's a brand new baby here. one that had to wait 5 super unpleasant days for my milk to come in. one that now seems to be surgically attached to my boobs. i sleep in 2 hour allotments, and i have to time my showers ever so carefully. and even then it seems like as soon as my hand touches the shampoo bottle it sets off some kind of alarm only babies can hear, and it usually turns into feverishly hair washing and guilt ridden showers. because even if i COULD just jump right out and grab the little papoose, the only thing i'd accomplish is getting him wet too. i'm guessing he wouldn't like that so much.

anyway.

i'm also dealing with postpartum hypertension, which is awesome. basically i'm not supposed to get out of bed aside from changing diapers or mixing up a protein shake. we had to make a trip up to the hospital yesterday to try and get our hands on some (really effing important) paperwork that they neglected to give us a copy of (long story short: the 300 year old woman in the records dept had no idea what we were talking about, and ended up giving us a copy of our birth plan. OUR BIRTH PLAN. the one that WE gave to THEM. ugh.), and when we got home my blood pressure was 150/108. not so great. back to bed.

so that's my life. changing diapers. shooting milk out of my boobs. laying in bed watching Intervention. hating the army for keeping sean from being here all the time. anticipating the day i'm allowed to go to the store to pick up milk without having to find someone to drive me there. seriously, i have a whole new outlook on these people who WANT c-sections.... they are mentally handicapped.

luckily, i get lots of little moments like the one pictured. i get secret smiles from henry while he's sleeping, and they're so cute it breaks my heart.

the grand entrance

our first few days together...

just a thought.

so, this whole labor and delivery thing has been a little rough on me. yes, it turned out fine, and i have a super fantastic little boy that i get to stare at and make faces with and who makes me almost unbearably happy. however... to get there i had to (quite unwillingly) cave in and do a bunch of things that i was really uncomfortable with. they were not easy decisions to make. i'm incredibly lucky that i had such a strong support system to help me through it.

however.

having a baby is emotional enough, even when things go exactly as planned. the last thing anyone needs is to hear things that make them feel like they've failed. over the last few days, i've had to hold myself back while being told:

"you really just don't have any other options. it would be a waste of energy to keep going"
"home births never really work out anyway"
"that's a really lousy decision, but i can see you've made up your mind"
"i just don't have time to take you [to feed him]"
"all the nurses joke- the longer the birth plan, the more likely you are to have complications"
"you probably won't get your placenta back"

sadly, i could keep going. but i'm not going to, because i also had 2 particularly amazing nurses that made me feel like i could do anything. and thank goodness for them, otherwise i most likely would have been a complete wreck (as opposed to the partial wreck i am right now).

today i got to bring the monkey home. it's taking everything in me to not kiss him raw.

henry is cantankerous.

we've been through a lot in the last few days. sleeping is not on that list.

51 hours of labor.
2 trips to the hospital.
water that wouldn't break.
cervix that wouldn't dilate.
a baby trying to come out sideways, getting himself stuck.
fever.
and finally, an emergency c section.

not at all how i expected things to go, but it happened, and i ended up with the most lovely little fella. we're all doing fine. logan is scared of him. more, better pictures this weekend when we're allowed to go home.

henry clarence beedle
7lbs, 13oz
21 1/4" long
9/28/10 10:37pm

museum day

yesterday was museum day! we took the opportunity to go to a couple places that i've been wanting to see since i moved here, since it was free and all...

our first stop was the May Natural History Museum. the name is a bit misleading, because all they really have are bugs. even the road marker to find them is a giant bug. it was a big room full of really old, really dead, and mostly really GIGANTIC bugs- making me decide that i never ever ever want to go to New Guinea. Ever. and the flying foxes? not as cute as it sounds. just scary. the bug museum also included a 12 minute "movie" (national geographic film from 1979), and a "space museum," which i didn't bother to photograph since it was 3 interlocking trailers in the middle of the cheyenne mountain state park filled with posters about space, and a star trek diorama.

i think the strangest thing was how many posters there were of dinosaurs in BOTH the bug and space parts of the museum.







our second stop was the Miramont Castle in Manitou. it was pretty cool, but not as exciting as i had anticipated. it was just full of neat victorian era furnishings, and logan threw a fit because they had lollipops in the gift shop that we weren't going to buy. the basement was a firefighters museum, of sorts, so at least he got to enjoy that :)




we ended the day, of course, at the dutch kitchen. yum yum yum.

i got a ton of walking (and stair climbing) in, and even tried out the birth pool when we got home. i really want to buy one to just have. it's the best.

eat, pee, sleep.

why am i awake at 4:45am? oh, right... cause i had to eat. again. it's funny how everyone says to get your rest before the baby comes, cause then you'll never get any sleep- but seriously, i haven't slept in months. i get up no less than 5 times each night to either eat, pee, or both. and when i'm in bed there's only one position i'm allowed to lay in. i have to say, it's really not that comfortable anymore. i want to sleep on my right side! or my back! or my stomach! or standing up if i could! sleepwalking would be even better, since then at least i'd be moving around and wouldn't hurt so much.

the only good thing about this middle of the night crap is that ingrid always gets up with me. she waits by the door to follow me into the kitchen and keeps me company while i make my snack. she snuggles and purrs while i eat, and walks me back to the bedroom. it's quite sweet.

and with that, i'll shut up for the day. back to bed for 2 hours, until i wake up with hunger pains so severe that i feel like i'll vomit if i don't get up RIGHT THEN. and by that point everyone else will be up, so i'll feel bad if i go back to bed after.

can hardly wait.

while i completely accept the fact that i might not have this baby for another week, that doesn't mean i can't wish and hope and jump rope, perhaps... right? i've been trying to tell him all day how perfect today would be to get it done. not only am i READY, but it's the first day of fall. and a full moon. and the weather has been lovely and cool. also, every time sean walks through the door the first thing he says is "are you having a baby?" with this hopeful look, and seems so disappointed when i say "nothing yet."

now... as i type this, he just called me a "gorgeous engorged shit blossom." so i don't feel bad for disappointing him anymore.

keeping myself busy today with more hat and cowl making, filling the birth pool, and eating my leftover thai. had an appointment this morning where i learned that i've lost 1 pound this week (still, 41 pounds gained...), and i began taking evening primrose oil to help soften things up.

i. am. ready.

(this cowl is my favorite so far)